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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12,155

    Default Affordable Bike Act.

    Without further ado, I forward to you the" Affordable Bike (MX) Act":

    The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Bike Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new motocross bike, by April 2014. These "affordable" bikes will cost an average of $10,000-$15,000 each. (Miniís from 50cc-105cc will be charged the same price as the 125cc-200cc bikes) This does not include taxes, trailers, assembly fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, riding gear and track fees, maintenance or repair costs.

    This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase motocross bikes. This new law ensures that every American can now have an "affordable" bike of their own, because everyone is entitled to a new bike. If you purchase your bike before the end of the year, you will receive a "free" helmet and riding gear; not including monthly usage fees.

    In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable bike, the costs of owning a bike will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their bike will be regularly fined, and children (under the age of 26) can use their parent's bikes to race or ride on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own bike.

    If you already have a bike, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a bike, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one. Fine can be withheld from your tax returns.

    Failure to use your new bike will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to motocross tracks or trails are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your bike.

    A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between a CRF450R, XR650R, YingLing or TRX ) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your bike along with how many people can ride your bike when your not, and determine if one is too old or smart enough to be able to use their bike. They will also decide if your bike has outlived its usefulness, or if you must purchase specific accessories (like a $1500.00 titanium exhaust), or a newer and more expensive bike. Those who can afford full on race bikes from reputable performance shops like; Pro Circuit, JGR or FMF will be required to do so...it's only fair. The government will also decide where and when you will be allowed to race your bike. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment. Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a bike, they and their families can obtain bikes free, at the expense of taxpayers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations are also exempt at this time.

    * Affordable bike act bill # c71.1157 amendment.
    - It has come to our attention that 2 stroke motocross bike are less expensive and simpler to run and maintain. For this above reason 2 stroke bike will NOT qualify for the affordable bike act bill.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Hopkins, Mn
    Posts
    10

    Default

    Good one polarisrider1! Hope you don't mind I copied this and put it on the GWRRA board>>>>

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    West Central WI
    Posts
    390

    Default

    Classic I will share to HD forum as well.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    3,194

    Smile

    Wayne
    I can forward that to your wife if you like? lol

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Waterford/Sidnaw, Mi.
    Posts
    1,905

    Default

    If he didn't cheat on his taxes every year, the government could afford to give us all free boats and bikes!

    It is pretty funny stuff, tho!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12,155

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Firecatguy View Post
    Wayne
    I can forward that to your wife if you like? lol
    Her mind is on a "Pampered Chef" party as of now. Lets not get her going

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