A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few
minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the
bathroom.

A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is
making all this noise.

"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my
customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush,
something comes up and bites my butt".

The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says,

"You idiot!

You're sitting on the mop bucket!"