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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Neenah, Wisconsin is about 40 miles south of Green Bay's Lambeau Field.
    Posts
    2,244

    Default Here's Your Stimulus Plan

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:


    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q. Where will the government get this money?
    A. From taxpayers.

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
    A. Only a smidgen of it.

    Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
    A. Shut up.

    [B]Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China.

    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

    * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:

    1) Spending it at yard sales, or

    2) Going to ball games, or

    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

    4) Beer or

    5) Tattoos.

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

    Conclusion:
    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Neenah, Wisconsin is about 40 miles south of Green Bay's Lambeau Field.
    Posts
    2,244

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    201

    Default

    Guess I'm lucky I don't get any...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Location
    Osseo Wisconsin
    Posts
    648

    Default

    Thanks for the laugh Gary, please keep them coming!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Pa
    Posts
    1,133

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Carbide View Post
    Guess I'm lucky I don't get any...
    I didn;t get any either and doubt I will this round!
    and there honestly is NO spending it in USA that doesn't end up else where
    as even if you do as above, those you paid will spend in other places, its a NO win game there playing!

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