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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    The Keweenaw Peninsula

    Default The Walmart Interview

    Jennifer, the manager at the local Walmart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening.
    After sorting through a stack of resumes, she found four people who were equally qualified.
    Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask the only one question to which their answer would determine who gets the job.
    The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
    The first man replied, "A THOUGHT! It just pops into your head, there's no warning."
    "That's very good!" replied Jennifer. "And now you sir", she asked the second man. Hmmm...let me see... A BLINK! It comes & goes & you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said Jennifer, "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed."
    She then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply... "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house & on the wall is a light switch, when you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep,, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
    Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer & thought she found her man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" she said, turning to Ernest the fourth & final man as she posed the same question.
    Old Ernest replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.
    "WHAT?" asked Jennifer, as she is stunned by the response. "Oh sure, said Ernest, you see, the other day, I wasn't feeling so good & I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK or TURN ON THE LIGHT I had already **** my pants."
    Ernest is the new greeter at the Walmart near you! -Mezz

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Mid Michigan


    Speaking of Fast
    A young boy was playing on the church steps with a small bottle of acid. The minister came out and didn't like what he saw and took the bottle from the little boy, telling him he'd be right back. The minster came back with a vile of holly water for the trade. What do I want with this the little boy said. The minister said by sprinkling a little of this holly water on a pregnant woman belly she'll pass a boy. The little kid says heck that's nothing, you sprinkle a little of that acid on a cats *** and he'll pass a motorcycle.

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